when serving God felt like a chore
the shift from religious routines to real relationship.
have you ever been part of a family or community, but still felt like you didn’t truly belong?
hey there,
my name is Bimbola and welcome to Bimbola’s Couch - where you get comfy and i talk to you about literally anything. sometimes it’s how the trees look greener on my walk home. sometimes it’s the guy who makes my nervous system throw a fit. sometimes it’s the heartbreak, the healing, the snack obsession (hiiii, Munch It), to the kind of friend who broke my heart. but today, we’re going deeper and it’s about my journey with Christ.
again, have you ever felt like you belonged somewhere….but not really?
i grew up in a Christian home. mummy was an official in church, and Daddy? he showed up once in a while. but interestingly, he never wanted us to miss a service.
5:30am to 6:30am - CHOP( covenant hour of prayer). mid-week services? check. sunday services? check.
all of it was mandatory. these weren’t suggestions; they were expectations. things i had to check off my to-do list, just to be done with them.
but the the truth? i didn’t know who i was serving. i didn’t understand why i was waving offering envelopes or carrying communion trays. i just knew it was my job.
and that’s the thing about being in spaces that look right on the outside but feel wrong on the inside - your body starts to notice. you begin to feel the weight. you start asking questions. and what once felt like a rhythm starts feeling like a burden.
i felt it. i felt it so deeply that i prayed the most ridiculous-sounding prayer i’ve ever prayed:
“God, please take me out of here”
it made perfect sense at the time. i figured if i left that place, i might finally feel it all…… the right way.
and God? He listened
He gave me a new home. not just another church - but a place that felt alive. where worship wasn’t a performance, but a posture of the heart; worshipping Him with my actions. my associations. my desires. sermons didn’t feel like lectures but like letters written straight to my soul. where the people didn’t just talk about Jesus - they walked with Him.
i was like that tall kid in a nursey class - hearing things i’d heard all my life, but now…. actually understanding. i knew God had died for me, but i didn’t know how heavy that truth really was. so, i had to start again.
and sometimes i wonder: what if i never said that prayer? what if i stayed? what if i stayed numb to the unease, and never sought more? what if i kept showing up without ever becoming?
see, i don’t have it all figured out. i honestly don’t. i’m not the holiest girl on earth - i’m not even close. but i know this:
it doesn’t feel like a chore anymore. it feels like home. it feels like life.
i no longer go to church just because anyone says so, but because i need it. because i’m growing. because i’ve tasted what it feels like to serve God, not out of pressure, but out of joy.
and i don’t know about you, darling, but if this isn’t the whole point… then what is?
hey, if you’ve ever felt the way i did - stuck in church but not rooted in Christ… maybe it’s time to whisper that same prayer. ask Him to shift you. to move you. to wake you up from the motions. to let go of religion and reach for relationship.
This is so relatable!